Hey guuuuyysss, how've y'all been? :D
Okay, I'll stop. But in all seriousness, I hope you have all been fabulous and you're enjoying your Easter holidays, whether you were off last week and this is your second, or if its your first week off like me, or you're an adult and don't have to deal with this type of crap anymore (I say crap, half term holidays are a god send!).
Just a quick note, I didn't realise until Finn pointed it out that my phone changed 'tumblr' to 'tumble' which may have been quite confusing when I said 'I have tumble now' haha, I can imagine you going 'what the hells tumble? Crazy bitch'. So I apologise :')
Anyway...Easter!
College has been highly stressful as of late. The exams are quickly impending, I have a strong feeling that I'm gonna fail history (which is okay in the long term cause I'm not going to take it next year, but I would still like an AS in history), I have no idea which university I want to go to just that it has to be away from here, and that I don't even know if I want to continue with psychology or purely focus on English?
URGHH: LIFE a book by Becky
So, to start with: exams
They're KILLING ME. I haven't started them yet, and I still hate them. I have two exams for each subjects and I'm taking 5 subjects including the mandatory general studies. I have to revise everything and I'm busy all holiday but apparently the 'holiday' is for revising? Haha okay.
I've devised a revision timetable so that should help because I am completely useless when it comes to time management and I promised myself it would get better at college but instead I feel as if I'm about to be swallowed up and spat back out into adulthood and I just want to cry. Who thought that giving 17 year olds the responsibility of making decisions that will effect us for the rest of our lives was a good idea? Who? I want words.
So, realistically, I'm not gonna revise as much as I want to. This means that I will probably fail my exams, all except English (which I don't really need to revise for, but practice questions will help) because I aced the mock and I'd be happy with a B at AS level in English.
Secondly, failing history.
I am struggling so much with it. I got an A at GCSE and I thought to myself 'well, I love the subject, and I'm clearly good at it, a level should be a piece of cake'. Oh wrong was I. Poor naive Becky. Don't get me wrong, the cold war side of the subject I can handle (to a point) but the British side? Not a god damn chance. When I'm in the class I feel as though I'm the only one who doesn't know what's going on, and when I try to answer a question I can see in my teachers face that he's either pitying me for not knowing or laughing. Its painful to say the least. I want to cry every time I walk in. *cry cry*
Thirdly, university.
I have no idea where to go. I don't want to stay here because I want to move away, I want to be independent and to have the full experience of university and to do that I have to move away. But the only problem is I don't know anything about any universities so I don't know which would be better for me. Which leads me to...
Fourthly, subject??
I want to do psychology, I'm good at it, I'm interested in it and I want to pursue a career in it, both because its my passion but also on a practical level (I will be hella loaded when I'm a doctor).
But then on the other end there's English/creative writing. I am great at writing, gonna be honest. I love reading and books are my life. So logically I should do English/creative writing at uni? But I can't think of a job that pays heavily in the English department unless I write a book series that goes as viral as harry potter or something. Doubt that's gonna happen though. So back to psychology again. Some universities do a joint degree of psychology and creative writing which would be perfect. But it just means finding that university? Woop.
So, what have I been up to during the holiday so far to stop me from revising? Well, I went to dads on Saturday because Carole and Ellie came and picked me up. Simon was hoping to but he had work. We were down the yard looking after the horseys for most of the afternoon and then we got back in and dad was home from work so I finally got to see dad. Not like its been over a year or anything? ;) then we did basically the same on the Sunday, but Carole (and I helped) set up an Easter egg hunt for the kids down the yard which as a concept was great but the kids were little shits so its didn't run particularly smoothly haha lots of tears. But overall it was good fun.
Today, I got to see Simon :) we haven't seen each other since we first met, 2 years ago, so its been a while haha :) I also got to meet Simons girlfriend, Emma and she's lovely, they're well cute together;) simon took us out for lunch at Frankie and Benny's and it was soo nice I would kill for food from there #nojoke and hopefully he's coming round tomorrow as well for a bit in the afternoon (haha if he remembers I'll be shocked;))
I'm going home on Wednesday and then I get to see Finn on Thursday! :D hehe I've really missed him so I'm gonna bake cookies and were gonna be all cutesy and its gonna be fab :3 <3
Then I'm off out for lunch with the girlies on Sunday, to this Chinese/Indian/Italian/american buffet place in hull where I've been before called wings and its really nice so that's gonna be good :)
Then for the rest of next week I'm gonna do some actual revision and then on Thursday I'm going to York for the day/overnight with mum for her birthday on the Friday and were also going with Carrie and Jonathan too so that should be fun :)
Then there's a possible party going on on Saturday and me and Finn are invited so I think we might be going to that, but we haven't actually spoken about it yet so I don't know what's going on there ;)
And then its back to college, *more cry cry* and if I don't kill myself I'll tune back in and inform you how the weeks have turned out:)
See ya later sexy bitches;)
Over and out;)xxxxxx<3
